is possible to be someone so unique that you dont even know who you are yourself? is it possible to have everything in the world and still be alone? i find that everyone loves me yet noone knows who i really am.......not even my bestest friend...

i feel alone in a crowded room.......dancing to the beat of my own drum.......

so now to get some things off my chest.......

Hayden i do like you but im scared you might actually like me too...i know it doesnt make any sence but all the same.

Brooke im sorry but i dont feel that were friends like we used to be anymore and i think it might actually be a good thing......because most of the time you make me feel like i have to be someone im not and never will be.....oh and your way to stuck up Dereks ass and since you think im so self absorbed.....dont come crying to me when hes gone......

Nikki im sorry for everything.....i messed up letting a friend like you fall away......you were the only one who actually liked me for who i was and who i could be.....and you were the only one who ever incouraged me to be and do whatever i wanted......and always sood by my side even when there was soda spilled all over the place.......ill never foget you and if you still hate me thats cool......but youll always be my silly noodle head!!!!!

Jake i ove you with everything i have and im sorry....someday i might take you back but until then i hope you learned your lesson. youll never find someone to treat you half as good as i did.....and how dare you talk shit about me......

Bucky the MOnkey......yes tyler i DID call you that......i hope you feel reall shitty about yourself and how dare you spread my business around like that and as for the comment you made to everyone......"i hope she dies from the cancer" FUCK YOU your going to burn in hell for that and im glad you got your ass whooped for that.......

LuLu.....your my gurl and i love you to death and i wish you a chris nothing but the best.....call me later chicie!!!!

Stephie J......what the fuck can i say except everything you already know.......I LOVE YOU GURL AND I COULDNT HAVE MADE IT THROUGH 1ST HOUR WITHOUT YOU THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!

and to all my loyal supporters

you know who you are.........I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!

oh and jimmy i hate you your a piece of shit and the only reason your not dead is because your the father of my niece!!!!!!!!REMEBER THAT AS YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT!!!!!!!!

oh and one more thing....

Hayden......someday ill forget.....but until then.....i like you.... lol

always and forever

Michelle

it seems to me that you spend your entire life working toward something. your first goal being to make it through elemetry alive and intact. Once you make it through elementry your next goal is to finish high school without to bad of a rep. and ive managed to do both. ive finished the only thing many kinds dont do anymore. well ive almost done that is. next year im a senior but ive passed my Junior year and im doing great.!!!!! im super excited.

anyway  only a few more days untill i get my test results. cross your fingers peeps.

oh most importantly HAPPY LATE MOTHERS DAY to all those who didnt feel that they were appriciated enough or just had a shitty moms day. since my mom is a whore ive decided to share it with you guys... so HAPPY MOMS DAY.......YOUR APPRICIATED!!!!!!!

 ummmmm ya anyway.......schools almost out for the summer and i have no idea what im going to do...oh and i have a great new friend...his names Hayden and hes awesome!!!! lol i have a friend im excited!!!! we hang out all the time lol.... ummmm

anyway luch is almost here and im starving.......message me if you want.....

my final thought for the day is........The time has come my little friends
To talk of other things
Of shoes and ships and ceiling wax
Of cabbagges and kings
And while the sea is boiling hot
And wheather pigs have wings
Kaloo Kalay come run away
With the cabbagges and kings .....

 forever

Michelle

well well well,

back again  I see. Ummmm so ya. my doctors appointments are getting more frequent but at the same time they say im doing fine........can doctors lie to you? or am i tripping?

i just went back for my 3-4 month check up since my surgery in December. i get my results in about a week. so im hoping for the best. i finally ditched Jake my long time husband. now ive decided to take things super slow and worry about school more and not so much boys lol dont get me wrong im hangin out with someone but HANGING OUT is a strong term  for what we do. lol anyway prom pics came in and they were awesome i cant wait to put them on here!!!!

anyway i might be going to Chicago this summer for a cooking camp. its supposed to be awesome but my mother keeps laughing at me and telling me ill never be able to raise the money to go. so whatever.

ummmm i recently started counsiling. its going ok my first bit of homework he gave me

was so stand in front of the mirror after a shower naked for 5mins and convince the girl on the other side that i was her best friend........ya kinda weird but then again thats why im not the doctor lol.....

im still struggling with quitting smoking but its improving. and thats good.

well im starving so im going to lunch and ill write again soon.

all my heart

Michelle

wow....

i thought prom was supposed to be this magical thing where you dance the night away with you date and look great.

well i looked great...

but my date sucked......hit was hitting on other girs and dancing with them so i jsut danced with EVERY other guy i found lol

bleh but what ever... life seems mellow for now

i havent been back to the doctor in months.......im too scared and selfish....i dont wanna know....

schools almost out for the summer, my grades are good, my boyfriend of two years finally left me for good i think, friday im going to St. Louis to the art museum and im super excited...i miss you guys so much but these last few weeks have been super crazy

ill try to fill you guys in on everything tomorrow

until then

all my love

Michelle

welp guys im back and im fit as a fiddle? lol yay me but gawd was i super drugged up it was weird

they gave a a shot of demoral? and then they gave me the anistesia and i was gone i woke up god knows how long later and i couldnt see straight and my eyes were rolling around and everyone musta seen me naked which sucked but i got over it the rest of the day was a slight blurr but i recovered soon after with my 30 vicodin??? i didnt even take them all why give me 30? oh well i cant stay long im supposed to be studying but i decided you guys were way more important  anyway im passing everything and life is ok im single but thats kewl schools almost out time to go see my homies

much love guys

ill keep you posted

always and forever

MICHELLE!!!!!!!

well damn this sucks donkey balls

im having surgery tomorrow(friday) for all of this stuff......

it sucks i get the anethesia and im scared shitless i dont know what to do....

i wont be back on here for another 3 weeks soo send me LOTS OF GOOD MESSAGES

im having the LEEP surgery incase your wondering its just this wire thing that they shoot volts of electricity through so it "cuts" like a knife but all it really does is burn the skin so ya GROSS

im going in in a few minuets for a pre-op so wish me luck

and if you pray.....

pray for me

if you believe.....

believe in me

and if you hope......

hope for me.....

TIll death due us part

*~*Michelle*~*

wel school sucks but im passing i think my best class is Psychology but its kewl ummmm its great to hear from you guys my life is kinda hitting a rut and i think as more time passes what friends i do have are starting to understand the reality in all this and one in particular has been crying a bit and theres nothing i can really say ya know i mean i try to comfort her but shes really started to understand that all of this is real so i dont know what to say.......its hurts me that shes hurting for no reason........and i try to tell her that we can only go one day at a time........and since all this ive learned to take it slow and thank god every day that i wake up everyday i sit up in bed turn off my alarm clock and i say "god even though today will probably be a shitty day.......thanks for letting me wake up and enjoy it" everyday i say the same thing and my ob-gyn has kinda knocked some since into me he said 'i only drink by the sunsets cause i figure God likes sunsets......i dont go to church often cause i figure god doesnt like all the hipocrits in em  but when i lay down at night i say god its been a hard day and thanks for letting me wake to see it but now its time for me to go to bed so im going to leave you in charge while i sleep.....so watch over me.." hes a smart man atleast in my eyes and what he told me kinda made since he said we all just need to let god take control........well i used to be very religious or atleast i tried......but jr high school hit nd i figured god didnt have time to listen to me so i quit talking.......now i still dont go to church as often as i should but i do make time to talk to god.......is that one of those to little to late type of things where people know there dying so they try to get right with god.......but i dont know if im dying so does it still make me bad?.......am i just like everyone else?.........i dont know but i know i try like hell to not be.....just please keep me in your thoughts and ill be back soon......

*~*Michell*~*

wow i never knew how much other blog sites really suck until i left you guys...........BIG MISTAKE

anyway ive decided to come back even if no one talks to me anymore because i need somewhere to let my feelings out...........and i guess this is my place........well school sucks big donkey doo......ive been kicked off the cheerleading team cause i missed a game to spend time with my family..............BULLSHIT!! 

ummmm i recently went back for my 6month check up about a month ago and i went back last friday for my results and they said they have no idea whats wrong with me right now and they have no idea what to do about it........the only thing they can come up with is pre-cancer........so ive started all my traetments all over again two days ago(monday) i went for another biopsie(sp?) and im still getting over that and i go back next monday for my results........

bleh it sucks but i gotta do it my ob-gyn is so awesome hes very nice to i never thought id like a male doctor down there but hes not creepy or weird hes very nice and very very professional.......

my puppy recently died which totally sucks but my hermies are healthy and my cats are stupid but i love em anyway.....

but for now imma go and do my homework......

oh i hope everyone had an awesome Thanksgiving

its great to be back

love

peace

&

EBT

*!*Michelle*!*

well im off and on to new blog sites so if you ever want to keep in touch you can email me at

tropical_blue_skittles04@yahoo.com

im always around if yu need me so dont be shy to look me up i love you guys

SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!

and who knows i might just come back around here someday:)

forever yours

Michelle

it amazing how over a year later you tell them to do something and they still think that they dont have to.....

a year later they still think that they run the show......

a year later they still think whatever they say is right.....ALWAYS....an your wrong

they still think its funny and cool to make sex jokes while eating.....

oh and god forbid that they cook you anything other than in the microwave.....

oh and MEMO GUYS take out doesnt count as cooking......and neither does fast food..............

its not cool to just go around free ballin all the time either......and if they brush their hair you better be prepared to NOTICE.......and if you just so happen to wear makeup that day "who you getting all dressed up for?" and my most favorite line of all is "baby lets go to taco bell i want a 99cent zesty nacho" "ok, but i just want you to know i ONLY have 20$ so i hope your not hungry".......ok well umm first of all i weigh 94lbs its not like i can eat that much anyway........

but the point of all this is he may be stupid and he may not "get it" all the time but i love him none the less

so Jacob Allen

feel special i put up with your shit!!!!!!!

Molly

well ummmmm im super proud of myself.......my grades are superb my lowest is a D+ which is Psycology (sp?) and im doing volleyball and the Gideon Turni is today so good luck us.........cheerleading starts soon, super excited for that........ummmmmm and now im studying for the ACT test :) which i do not have to do cause its not manditory(sp?) so yay me its harder than i thought it would be but who cares uhhhhhh if anyone has any study tips or anything please help me out cause im dying to do great on it :)

always and forever

Molly

well here i am again......

back in my chair wishing i had something to do......

well i have more bad news......in the past two weeks four people in my family have died one of which was suicide two were car wrecks and one was well im not actually sure, and then two people have had massive heart attacks and almost died.......then i foudn out today my cousin had a really bad car wrek and broke a leg two collar bones and suffered massive head trama and brain swelling......they think hes ok by their not for sure and hes only a year older than me.

i no i no sounds like im making all this up but i swear im not...... but i really wish i was anyway ive recently finished a few good books the last Harry Potter The last Lemony Snicket The new two books in the Vampire Kisses series and ive lost a few more "friends"  but who the hell cares  i have one a few friends now and OH MY GAWD!!!!!!! I HAVE CRABS!!!!

yay two little baby hermit crabs.....

hahahaha

yea i know what you thought you thought i ment pubic crabs hahaha nope HERMITS!!!!!!! Superman and Polly but yea im now a Junior in high school and its ok i almost dropped out recently but i decided not to.......i cant quit.....ummmm

oh ive quit smoking weed to play volleyball and be on the cheerleading team  ive been clean for a month so yay me!!!!!! love ya guys......

illl be back soon

ok so my homie Mary Jane is finally out and shes needs some help guys like you gave me

her grandpa isnt gonna make it to much longer cause of his liver and her dad

wants to give her grandpa some of his.....

whats the pros and cons?

will they both live and for how long?

does stuff like that even work?

how much time will they have after?

are there any success stories?

quick guys we need help and soon

Much love

Molly N Mary

well im back again for those who may have missed me ive thought fondly of you all over the summer wondering if maybe you all ok to. ummm in case anyone was wondering im still in treatment but im doing better. uhhhhh i recently had a birthday..... i am now 17 YAY uhhh im currently on our volleyball team and our game yesterday kicked so much ass. we were awesome.....ummmm some friends of mine are being fake to me so im currently changing ym life and some things. my boyfriend and i recently celebrated out 1 year anniverasy ummmmm i dont have much to say right now but ill be back on later to talk to ou guys..... so leave me some comments and let me know how youve been PLEASE!!!!!

always and forever Molly

wow another year of high school hell........almost OVER!

today is my last day but the real last day is friday.....im just kewl and dont have to go.......

another year gone in the blink of an EYE and now im a Junior heh one step closer to my senior year ^_^  T-totally kewl

i made some new friends got rid of some fake ones.....learned some awesome stuff and and lost 20lbs due to nasty school food.......lost an awesome teacher/friend/grandma/cook/sewer but i wont let the miles seperate our bond........

so obviously this is for Mrs. Johnson this is just a post (that she will probably never read) so say how much she actually helped me.......ive known her for about 3years now and she has helped me through hell and back.......ive never really liked school until i had her class and now if i had her everyday id NEVER miss a day.......she feeds me when im hungry.......lets me lay down when im sick........ive called her grandma a few times on accident and all she said was "its ok what did you want babygirl".......she taught me how to sew and make the best no bake drop cookies around........she taught me about life and gave me some of the best advice ive ever had........and even when i was mean and bitchy over a bad day she never ever was mean back.......weve had some fun times and some bad times ive cried and shes cried and im crying now like a baby.......i will truely miss her not because she was a great teacher but because she was an AWESOME friend........so Mrs. Johnson i know youll never see this but if im wrong and you do THANKS........for EVERYTHING ill miss you but i SWEAR ill keep in touch and i wish you the best of luck in everything you do and tell Bobby hi for me i hope you guys make it!!!!!!

forever

Mrs. Johnson's 7th Hour

"monkey"

Michelle 

well damn.......i thought it was over.

Yesterday i went to have my cervex frozen.......nobody even bothered to tell me it would hurt that bad........Gee Thanks.

they said my HPV was already turning cancerous but it was only the first stages.....

so they think they got it......in 6 months ill go back for a re-evaluation and then in another 6 months ill go back again.....if nothing shows up within the next year then im home free.....

however.....

if it comes back theyll try freezing again if that fails again then bye-bye motherhood....well....

ya i guess so.......besides even if i did want one now Jacob Allan would tell me no......

"your going to be somebody if i have to push you the whole way" he says

he doesnt want me to end up like my mother and he wants me to follow my dreams no matter where they take me and he says hell follow......

but.......to never have kids? i dont think i could.......thats something ive wanted ever since i got a hold of my beautiful niece Keke.......shes beautiful shes amazing its almost as if there will never be another like her shes special in every way and Brittany(kekes momma my gurlie)never takes a moment for grantet(SP?) and i want that with MY baby

gawd i probably should be on the Jerry Springer Show but screw it

ive always said if i can never have kids ill adopt so.......

damn i dont know..........

forever

^_^Michelle^_^

♥wow♥

my wonderfull Jacob Allan made it through his ♥(heart)♥ surgery ok!!!

im not sure if i told you all or not but the guy who broke up with me

well i wouldnt call it broke up we just kinda acted stupid for about a week anyway.........

hes 15 and had to go in for open heart surgery two nights ago at 5Am

i was scared but im not anymore.........2 1/2 hours after his surgery they took out his breathing tube......which means he was breathing fine on his own!!!!

you know how our heart have a tube on each side to pass blood to both sides?well both of his were on one side so one side of his heart wasnt getting blood so if he got over excited or something and made his heart pump it would cause him to have black outs and seziures and shit . crazy i know

hes my soldier.......he never gives up.........not even on me when im being a bitch to him

I♥love♥him♥so♥much

its almost been a year for us......and i dont see myself without him.......i know you might say "oh shes to young she has no idea" whatever you dont feel what i feel for that boy

and trust me ive had a lot of boyfriends and ive never liked one this much well......except one

but we wont speak of him..........

anyway im super happy hes fine and im going to see him soon

♥yay♥

♠Jacob Allan Lasher♠

♦you little fucker!♦

◘I love you hunnie!◘

•so much!!!!•

○Michelle○

well good news

its

NOT CANCER!!!!!

im ok atleast for now......

they said what i have is an infection

that if left alone

DOES turn into cancer

they said they THINK they caught mine in time there not sure yet

i went in for a biopsy yesterday and it HURT.....BAD i cried for so long

and my ex-boyfriend took care of me all day he even went with me (heh how convienent {SP?}) lmao

anyway im sore and trying to recover and for now im ok

in 2 weeks i return again to the doctor to have my insides frozen to try and

STOP AND OR SLOW DOWN the infection ........so for now

im happy

and to everyone who sent me messages and kind words prayers or even jsut thoughts

THANKS your guys are one in a million and im very lucky to have people like u guys care about me :)

so for the minute

everyone just

SMILE!!!!

-michelle-

well it seems there are really people out there who have a heart

and not just pretend to...

maybe i should let you all know who i am outside of my pain......im not a bad person im really not......matter of fact id call myself the good one......so i smoke a little weed.......the way i see it is like this its better i smoke weed...(which is organic not processed with harmfull shit) and smoke ciggarettes (which are totally not good) then be a pregnant teenage mother with no life who dropped out of school and sells herself on the street every night ot get some money to but heroine to shoot up........see now what i do is nothing compared to that right?

just yesterday i had the chance to drink....i said no because me and my bestest friend Brooke were out of town and being as shes not really a great driver anyway(shes 16 and hasnt even thought of getting a permit cause she doesnt no how to drive) i said "no because i have my bestfriends life in my hands and i couldnt live with noing i fucked it up" i said no even though they were all talking about "come on are you a pussy?" "are you scared" and things like that......im the one who would rather take my friends money go buy them some weed so they wont go spend it on "dope" (meth) im the one who tried out for cheerleading even though all my friends laughed in my face...(AND I MADE THE TEAM!!!!!)

id rather spend the weekend at home with a good book listening to music then go party(although it is nice) and i cant do any of that because my family is so "backward" my mother has a 10th grade education and im already smarter than her....and that hurts now whos going to help me with my homework.....matter of face i had to write a letter to my mothers doctor because shes illiterate and cant spell worth a shit......

my father graduated but didnt even think of collage cause he was locked up for 6 years of my life.......heh yes

anyway..... so theres a little bit more about me heh......

am i really that bad?

(?)Michelle(?)

just the other day my family hated me they told me i was useless and they didnt want that i wasnt allowed to stay there anymore and that they were sick of me HEH some family.......then they find out i may be sick....sick with what took my grandfathers wife.......sick with what took my fathers mother............and sick with what took the only mother ive ever known from me and i dont even care......my life is so fucked up right now i feel as if im watching a really twiztd movie and it makes me want to get up and leave.........here ill make a list for those of you who dont know ((#1)my 14 year old cousin has Gangrene in her STOMACH because stupid drs told her she had nothing wrong with her when her appendix has burst inside her and they let it sit like that for a week now shes laying in the hospital close to death(#2)i may have CANCER hoooooo wa! isnt that grand now my family loves me again........fake ass bitches(#3)last night i was woke up in the middle of the night only to find that my cousins house was on fire and they didnt know if anyone was in there or not........my 1 1/2 year old niece was in there and i came out of my bed  to check on them.......there fine........but everything is gone......and if u remember me talking about my hero cousin Josh who saved those girls......yep thats him......his house and everything he had is gone.......but then again what matters the most to him was sitting there with him as we all watched his house burn down together and i held brittany (his wife my bestest gurlie) as she cried(#4)my grandfather who hates me is sick and i still care for him no matter what he says about me or to me........i still care(#5)my other grandfather is getting a D-I-V-O-R-C-E hes almost 60 WTF?(#6)my boyfriend dumped me in my greatest time of need.......alone yet again(#7)im trying to be a cheerleader and play volleyball to help me cope with my news and to try and stop smoking weed.........and they people ive always supported the most are the ones laughing at me now......... (#8) i almost blew my brains out two nights ago......and people wonder why......HAH!!!!!and what blows my mind even more is that i can find so much comfort in a computer screen filled with typed words from people who have never even met me than i can in my own family so wtf people tell me get over it grow up..i want u to be the judge..those of u who have followed my stories when i do post no quite a bit about me...do u think i should get over it and grow up?????....cause i feel i grew up along time ago in the end they say......when it comes down to it, all u have is your family so what do u think.........you guys wanna be my family??????

well ummmmmm

as of today i am not officially

a 07'-08' High School Varsity Cheerleader!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yay Me!!!!!!!!!!!!

im super proud cause the 3day tryouts were hell!!!!!

but i made it so

ya weeeeeeeeeeeee!

anyway for those who care

i go to the doctor on

MAY 7th

and as soon as i find anything out you guys will be the first to know.......

PROMISE!

anyway for now

lets all be happy and u guys celebrate with me in my great time of triumph

XD

_Michelle_

ok so ummmm well ya

i just............

i just got some horrible news.......

i went to my female doctor for my annual check up

an well......

they think i might have Cancer.........

an im only 16 going on 17.............

what do i do?

what would anyone do?

how should i feel?

my mothers worried sick as is my father........

but Brooke.......my dear sweet Brooke.....

i feel shes taking it the hardest..........

i asked her what she would do if they find out for sure i have Cancer..........

she simply told me to shut the fuck up and we'd deal with it when the time came.........

then in her twiztd way of trying to help she told me.......

well look at it this way......atleast now you can smoke weed legally.....

i merely smiled............

i love that gurl so much and i dont no whats going to happen anymore.....

im scared....scared shitless........being as my mother died from Cancer.....

 well my grandmother...........

anyway i dont know what to do

my life is falling apart

reality is setting in

and my life could be comming to a stop...........

someone HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Loads Of Love

Lita Michelle Williams

ok so last night im laying in my bed watching TV not even thinking anything of the two ambulances and 7 cop cars across the street even though my family lives right over where it was

i didnt think anything even though my niece is there and she isnt even two

i didnt think anything because we live in a small town

i didnt think anything because i didnt expect it.......

that just goes to show you always be prepared

last night i got a call from my best friend Brooke and she was upset.....

she said whats going on?!

i said what are you talking bout?

she told me the cops and everything WAS at Josh and Brittanys house

i told her id call her back and i left

the only thing on my mind was my family

josh britt and my niece kierstin Keke for short

i get over there and the closest i could park was two blocks down

so i ran

as fast as i could to the lights and the screaming

only to find my cousin Josh being loaded into the back of the ambulance

i kept running until i hit Connors arms and i started crying......

i had no idea what was going on.......

Connor kept telling me to stop crying cause he knew id throw myself into a panic attack

and that was the last thing we needed so i quit

he told me that while they were in the house Josh went to the door just to look out

like he always does

and he seen 3 little girls next year ranging from preschool to 3rd grade

being messed with by this man he was trying to pull them off the back of their dads truck out of their yard into his

he had just got out of the pen for 10 years and was already messin with little girls

Josh went out there with Connor and told the guy to leave and leave the little girls alone

the guy (who we still dont know) said to fuck off this was his business

so Josh went out there to protect the babies since he had one himself

and the whole time their parents never knew because they were in the house

they guy pulled a knife on my cousin and cut him deep so Connor ran to help him fend off the guy while Josh tried to get some help and get the little girls in the house

Connor bashed the guy in the head with a brick and hit him so hard with it it broke into 3 small pieces and the guy just stood there.......

he was so fucked up on drugs just on his first day out that the brick didnt even faze him

then he told connor now he was gonna kill him

the cops got there not to long after and everything got broke up

my cousin is now in the hospital and i pray  that hes ok so that he can come back to his baby

...................................................

the moral of the story is that you should always be ready for anything

and always watch you babys even if they are in your yard

because there are crazy people all out there everyday looking for someone to fuck up for their advantage

i only hope that its not a baby whos so small her only reflex is to let some stranger pick her up and take her off cause she cant say No Stop Mommy

like my neice Keke now i worry about her everyday cause now she can get out of the house by herself so we have to watch her at all time

be careful people

*~*Molly*~*

it seems no matter what i do.........

  i will never make a difference in the world........

but you know what??

that will never,

ever,

stop me from trying!!

:)

*~*Molly*~*

well well well.........

i made it though anohter night.....

lol

ya ummmm well.........

 i suppose i should have something good to say and i dont.........

except.......why is the world so judgemental?

 i have this gay friend who ive talked about before his code name is Nikk Purple.....

and some people  who i thought i new well enought to be nice were absolutly horrid to him......

ya he dresses a little different and stuff but why treat him like hes got the plague(sp?)??

not only was i hurt for Nikk but i was totally 150% embarrassed for the other two guys who were being rude.......

they laughed in his face and then ran to the bed room were the proceeded to talk so much shit on him to me.......

then didnt even have the nerve to say it to his face they had to run and tell me......

which was the biggest mistake they ever did.....

 i dont make fun of people ....unless they put themselves out there to be made fun of

like when you see(no offence) a fat person wearing clothes that are clearly waaaaaaay to small for them

i cant help but snicker and whisper something to my friend

now its nothing as bad as being like "hey you no, no one wants to see your fat ass" its just an Oh my gawd Brooke do you see that.....they need to cover it up.....

but what they did embarrassed me for them like really bad

anyway......

just because someone else isnt like you doesnt amke what they are doing wrong because you dont undertsnad it.

*~*Molly*~*

ok so first of all any of those pictures on my thing that are drawn.......

are drawn by my best friend Trixie Grey(Brooke)

sooner or later ill write a little about them and let you know whats up with em.....

but for now.......

I JUST WANNA BE ME..........

ok so life sucks.

i find myself with a long list of things i wanna do......

and yet.....

i never see myself doing any of them.......

I want to be a chef

i wanna learn to cook in France......

i wanna star gaze from the Effiel Tower(sp?)

i wanna smell all of the stinky French cheese

I want to travel to Rome and stand in the middle of the Collasium(sp?

and know that many years before

gladiators stood there and fought to the death

for the entertainment of others..........

i want to see the rain forest and whats left of its beauty.........

i want to go to Mexico and lay on the beach all day.....

then watch the beautiful sunset that follows it.........

i want to write something so beautiful that someone somewhere

will be inspired by it......

i want to go from the bottom of the world (the dead sea)

and then staright to the top of the world (mt everest)

and pray i come back down.......

15 out of 20 people never make it down

but to live my dreams......

thats a chance im willing to take......

then if it all works out and i make it back ok i want to live in

Baton Rouge L.A.

and open a nice Cajun resturant

and maybe start a family......

that is.......

if any one will have me......

*~*molly*~*

well i should have known not to put my shit up here.......

to many fucking critics and assholes........

always gotta give out two liners that no one wants to here so until i get the courage again........

im going to stop posting my story after just one try......

so thanks to all of you jackasses who had something to say.....

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE

and i realize that this is the world and it is hard and im only 16 but WTF (what the fuck).......

havent you ever heard of "if you dont have something nice to say.....keep it to yourself"

live and learn assholes........

thanks for all your kind........ thoughtfull........encouraging...........RUDE remarks.....

Forever,

Molly

[]D..$

Be who you are and say what you feel........

because those you mind dont matter.....

and those who matter dont mind........

---Dr. Seuss

If there could be one song

to describe my life everyday

only one band could do it........

FUEL

"Bad Day"

I had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note that said Im sorry, i
I had a bad day again

She spilled her coffee broke a shoelace
Smeared the lipstick on her face
Slammed the door and said Im sorry, i
I had a bad day again

And she swears theres nothing wrong
I hear her playing that same old song
She puts me up and puts me on
I had a bad day again

She said I would not understand
She left a note and said Im sorry i
I had a bad day again
Nooo...

And she swears theres nothing wrong
I hear her playing that same old song
She puts me up and puts me on
Oh I had a bad day again

She said I would not understand
She left a note that said Im sorry, i
I had a bad day again
She left a note that said Im sorry, i
I had a bad day
Nooo
Nooo
Nooo
Nooo
Alright
Oooooo
Ohhh

You make me cum.

You make me cumplete.

You make me cumpletely miserable.

-Lit

Well hmmmmm im currently looking for new friends. So anyone who has been looking at my blog feel free to message me.

trust me i have nothing better to do.

no freaky shit please im not into that whole "computer sex" shit its creepy.

just someone or some people to talk to.

as friends.

oh an  p.s for any of the family looking or for anyone that cares.

32 more days

OK.

todays friday.

awesome.

and its now 38 days until Mizz. Mary-Jane returns.

38 and counting.

i miss her.

a lighter note.......my life has finally settled out for the moment. and i have come across a new thought.

Trixie Grey and I have been friends for like ever and up until now ive never thought of it like this but....

our friendship is a scale and balanced scale if you will. like this - = - i am on the left and she is on the right

Trixie would have to be the evil one of us. shes not afraid of gore and blood and loves to hurt people. almost as if it gives her personal satisfaction. (Kind of twisted i know) but she is who she is and i love her none the less for it. if nothing else im the only one who really understands her.

anyway and i am the kind one. sometimes to kind. but i can be a SUPER bitch. im the one who cringes at the sight of others being hurt because i can feel it almost as if its happening to me and thats my flaw....kindness.....but anyway sometimes the scale gets to be like this _=- where her side out weighs mine but i eventually draw the line for her and tell her enough is enough. but then theres times where she has to tell me "hey get a grip and stop eing so nice" thats when i no its time to kick ass.

so i guess you can say that even though the scales are tipped at times ,

weve been around each other long enough to know how to keep it level - = -

*~*i lub ya Trix*~*

*~*See ya after school*~*

*~*Molly*~*

Well i guess its time for me to introduce my "family"

as a kid i had a horrible childhood but i got over it with the help of my friends, who over the years have been more of a family to me than my real ones.

#1) on my list Brooke Cantrell Aka. Trixie Grey

shes like my number one homie ive known her since we were tots.

shes an awesome artist and if you wanna see some of her work its at

anyway #2) would have to be my silliest gurl Nikki Vance aka Mary-Jane Brown

shes the craziest of us all and shes always the first to find the siver lining and shes always the one to make us all smile

but unfortunatly shes in Rehab right now and im counting down for her (40 more days guys)

next would have to be me Lita Michelle Williams or if you know me well enough......Molly White

i have a husband named Alexandar White and we have a new member to our family Skylar White

Trixie and her ex-husband just split up James Harrington aka Dorian Grey.......hes no longer a memebr of our family so bleh

then theres Michael Simpson aka Sparky Green

and of course Mason Pemberton aka Andreen Green

someone whos no so important cause we hate him Eric D. Beggs aka Eddie Brown........

on a lighter note my "brother in law" Mikey King aka Dale Brown is with Nikki (mary-Jane) and they are very happy

then theres Ben Walker aka Nikk Purple theres nothing to say except (dance on my little potted meat dancer ill see you after school)

then theres our newest member Dylan im not sure of his last name aka Winstin Blue

then theres my mom who is totally kewl and her name doesnt need to be said well jsut leave her as Morgana Silvers and her awesome husband my dad whos "name" is Spencer Silvers

then theres Steph. aka Roxxie Black shes stupid and a back stabber and i will pay her back for what she did to me

theres probably more but right now i cant think of them so ill add them on a later note

this is our "family" our Casket Patch Kidz each one is specially named and delt with and incase you havent figured out by now its all done by colors Theres the Blacks the blues the white the grey the greens the maroons the silvers and the purples or the tree of many colors as i like to call it these are my rocks my shreds of sanity and i love most of them

*~*Molly White*~*

Well well well.

another day of lonelyness and all i can do is cry.

everything i try messes up everyone i love is turning against me. WHAT DO I DO? i cry out but no one hears. I turn my head and wipe my tears. i wake up and scream only to find everything is real an not a dream.

i thought they would have my back for this one and be here for my new choices and totally be ok with it but i was wrong so where do i turn?
 
to an empty computer screen that i fill with my words my pain my sorrow and my heart.

to people i dont even know but their words comfort me in a way i havent known in a long time. and for the breif time i am here i feel ok

its good to be around people who feel my pain and know what its like to have people hate you for who your trying to be and what you want to do

 ...........it hurts